Being a parent can be hard work, but you get some laughs along the way. When my youngest daughter was four years old telling one of her siblings, “That is not where babies come from.” I asked her, ” What do you about know where babies come from?” Her very serious response but some what evasive answer, “I know everything. I am a professional.” I just laughed and left the subject alone.
A few weeks later, my husband was trying to describe to her what a heron was, and he said, “It looks sort of like a stork, the bird that delivers babies.”
“Very adamantly she proclaimed. “Nu huh, that is not where babies come from.”
“Ok, so where do babies come from then?” he asked playfully, expecting some cute silly answer. At first, she avoided answering, but he prodded on, saying that he needed to know where babies come from he thought the stork brought them. After being questioned several times…
“Alright,” she said exhaling in a manner to indicate she was getting annoyed, “The momma and the daddy make love, the daddy puts the baby in the momma, and it grows and she goes to the doctor, and he takes it out.”
I could do nothing but laugh at the look on my husband’s face. He was bewildered and didn’t know what to say. Then he asked, “Who told you that?”
“No one,“ she answered, “I just know it.” then added the same thing she told me. “I know everything; I’m a professional.”
It is fun to listen to children talk, it is so entertaining sometimes. For example, it was Christmas, and my youngest son had gotten something that required some assembly, and we were trying to figure out how it went together and were having trouble, and he asked, “Where are the destructions?”
Once a friend of ours was over one night, and we had been outback in a shed where we had a pool table. He had been drinking a little and started back across our yard to the house. He stepped off into a small drainage ditch that was lined with bricks and had a cement bottom, still not sure why he didn’t see it. A few minutes later, we were talking about what had happened and my youngest daughter, who was now 8 years old, joins in the conversation, “That was an obstacle illusion.“
One time my husband and I were off in our bedroom, and he kept tickling me, and I was laughing and squealing. After a while, we heard my oldest son trying to disguise his voice by making it sound deeper; He was about 9 at the time. “What are you doing in there? wrestling?” There was a very brief pause. “naked!“ my oldest daughter who was about 7 immediately added at the end of his sentence.
Here’s one more, when my oldest son was maybe 3 or 4 some friends and I, going through the Dairy Queen drive thru one day and when the voice came over the speaker, “May I take your order?” before I could open my mouth, he spouts back, “We need some crack cocaine.“ embarrassing but funny. I didn’t even know where he had heard about crack cocaine. Problem was I was afraid we might just get it. I knew there had been a lot of marijuana passed out that drive thru window back in the eighties.